It takes a village. It’s the timeworn saying that parents knowingly use to acknowledge the
support that friends and family extend to our children as they grow and the benefits they gain
from the collective experience. As my children have aged – and I grudgingly with them - the
phrase has taken on a more expansive and personal definition as I look back on my parenting in
all of its messy glory. The one most in need of a village back then (and frequently even now)
was not my son or daughter, but me.
As parents, it is our natural inclination to protect our children, shield them from pain, and hope
that the world will accept and value them as we do. In this pursuit, it is tempting to build a
fortress around our families, barricading ourselves from vulnerability and judgement through a
pretense of perfection. But those walls, however insulating, are also isolating and there is
ultimately nothing more exhausting or lonely than the façade that everything is alright all of the
time.
When Maureen unexpectedly entered my life more than twenty years ago, she brought her
adoption story to our family at a time when our adopted daughter was becoming aware of and
questioning her own. Maureen’s warmth, honesty, and willingness to both listen and share
came at a time when I needed guidance to understand and support my daughter. The birth of
her twins quickly followed, and we found ourselves raising our families together with the help
of long, cross-country phone calls punctuated by equal measures of laughter and anxiety. I am
so blessed to have Maureen as a permanent resident of my village, along with many other tried
and trusted friends who made themselves available to both pick up my child from soccer
practice and pick me up with words of validation and acceptance.
Our hope for Two Coasts for Comfort is that we can widen the circle and share our experiences
with readers who are interested in issues that relate to family, parenting, and personal growth.
We cannot promise many definitive answers, but we are willing to ask questions and share our
perspectives in the hope that they will resonate with readers and promote open dialogue. The
journey will be guided by the overriding belief that perfection is never the goal. Growth is
enough. Any human is warmly welcome. We hope you will join us!
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